Uniquity

Throughout my fourth, fifth, sixth, and seventh grade years, I was living for other people. At the time, I thought, “Maybe if I act like this person and follow this person’s lead, I’ll be liked,” but let me just tell you, it doesn’t work- not one bit. I’ve always loved myself for who I was, but for some reason, I forgot about myself, who I was, and what I stood for when I stepped into those school buildings. I would despise the weekend’s end because I knew that on Monday, I had to go back to school and fake my life all over again. I’ve been humiliated before, trying to be something I’m not, but it’s because I couldn’t force my way into a specific kind that I wasn’t. No kind fits me. I’m an individual. I have uniquity, and I’m proud of it. I know who I am. More importantly, I know Who’s I am. I love myself for me, now more than ever.

It took a while for me to finally stand up for myself, but when I did, the freedom and joy I felt in my heart was indescribable. I felt safe to be me. I felt safe to talk to whoever I wanted without being criticized because “he or she isn’t cool” (in the eyes of everyone else). I loved myself so much that I was able to lose friendships and connections with people that I’ve had for years to better myself. I needed to be myself, so I entered a separate program at my school the moment it started, and went even further the next year, becoming homeschooled, isolated from everyone. I not only love homeschooling, have better grades, and have bigger dreams for myself, I’ve gained more opportunities in the one year that I’ve been homeschooled than in the previous 9 in public school.

Trust me, it won’t be easy, but if you are living your life for other people, you can stop now. I know it’ll be hard to stand up for yourself. Sure, some may not think you’re “cool”, but you are. You are stronger, braver, and tougher than you think because you are staying true to yourself even when caught into peer pressure. 

It’s a stereotypical thing to say that the majority rules, or having a specific kind of hair, a specific kind of skin,a specific kind of body shape, a specific weight, a specific height, and a specific eye color makes someone beautiful. It’s a stereotypical thing to say that only pretty, rude girls are cool and popular. This is real life, not Mean Girls. Even if this is a true statement, I’m fine being that minority that “doesn’t rule”, because I know that when a door opens for an opportunity, that same majority who “rules” can’t squeeze their way through one door together. I can walk through that door all by myself. I may not have some of the features that, according to society, makes someone beautiful, but what I do have is a heart of gold and confidence that I will spread to others non-stop. I want to be an inspiration, an encouragement, not the popular girl from high school.

“My life is like a speeding bullet that just hasn’t hit the target yet,” but if I were to allow another to step in front of the bullet, it would have slowed that bullet down, keeping it from soaring, maybe enough to keep that bullet from hitting the target altogether. Same goes for you. Take care! 

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Written by Alaina Walker 

Instagram @ i.am_alaina